Not Quite What I Was Looking For

Hello again. It's been a while, 3 years perhaps? Here's a brief description of my 3 year experience with the Samanas:

• gave away my clothes
• fasted for long periods at a time and only ate once a day if I wasn't fasting
• self-torture (stood in the burning sun without water, stood in the freezing rain, stood in thorny bushes) until I lost feeling and "escaped myself"
• lost my desire for all typical superficial trappings such as sex, material belongings, money, passion, joy, etc.

Govinda and I definitely learned a lot from the Samanas; we learned how to disconnect from the superficial world and be free from shallow needs. Unfortunately I was not yet at inner peace and decided to leave the group in pursuit of true enlightenment. Hopefully I will find it.