The morning after Vasudeva and I built a funeral pyre for Kamala. Odd as it may sound, I found no sadness lingering in my heart. After all, I was just given a son!
I had been trying to comfort him. Console him. But he stayed distant with his grief, and I let him be. For who am I to him? Yes by blood I am his father but he didn't know me and I didn't know him. The boy began to show his true self eventually: spoiled, greedy, arrogant, disrespectful, unfriendly, gloomy, and adapted to the finer lifestyle. I loved him and was patient with him, nonetheless. After all, he was my own.
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Months and months passed and I still had no progress with my boy whatsoever. I did everything I could to earn his love and respect. I yearned for the boy to eventually accept me and my love for him. The day that happens would be one of my happiest...but it never came. The boy continued with his feverish, rude, and arrogant ways. Vasudeva, observing my disappointment with the whole situation, eventually shared with me his view, how the boy is not meant to stay here at the river and he belongs back in the town. I listened with deep regret, knowing it was true. But he has to accept my love eventually doesn't he? I just needed more time, he will give in eventually. He will change. No, I couldn't give up on him. He is a part of me and it is my responsibility to raise him! So I didn't follow Vasudeva's words, convinced that maybe somehow, someway, I could win my son over.
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My son continued to disrespect both Vasudeva and I. I continued to leave him be. One day the boy burst at me with words of how I bored him, how I wasn't his father, how he hated his life here by the river, how he hated me, how he would rather go to hell than be like me, and more. I listened quietly with great sorrow and disappointment growing inside me. Then he fled.
He was gone the next morning, along with Vasudeva's money. The boat was across the river. Panic crept into my heart. I must find him. The forest is full of dangerous creatures. Who know what he could run into? I had to follow him. Vasudeva and I quickly built a raft to get across the river. Although he told me not to follow the boy, I did anyway. I followed the trail through the forest that lead to the town. I then realized that there was no longer a point in following him. If I did, then what? He would hide from me and if I found him again, would I just drag him back to a life of discontent back at the river? I couldn't do that to him. Yes he was taking charge of his own life. Fine. Yet he was still my son and I yearned to have him back...but I knew it was not in my reach or power to do anything about it.
With great sadness I sat down against a tree after remembering my life back in this very town. I listened to the murmur of the crowds, the streets, the people and fell into sort of a slumber to be awakened later by Vasudeva. Silently, we returned to the river.
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